My Life, His Will

As I begin to write this post, I am reminded of all the loved ones I left behind in Nicaragua.  Whether it was my close girlfriends I connected with, the orphans and their precious hearts, my neighbors who giggled at me when I spoke Spanish, the English students asking me a million questions, or the village children that would run and completely tackle me.  I miss every single person I came in contact with.

Before I jump into my experience in Nicaragua, 

I feel like you need to know what events led up to me going. 

I can remember being seven years old and watching the children on tv from other countries needing food and clean water.  I have always been a saver of money so I asked mom if I could send money to those poor children.  As I got older, I went on my first mission trip at the age of twelve.  I went to the Philippines and China with my Dad and 25 other preachers. I witnessed my little heart out, telling people about Christ.  At one house in the Philippines, I met with over fifty children where fifteen came to know Christ.  

I've always thought missions was built in my DNA.  Half the men in my family are preachers, evangelists, missionaries, and yet here I am following in line.  But it became real to me when I was 18.  I was actually not following God in what he wanted for my life.  I was a lot like Jonah.  I think I was fearful about what God wanted to do with my life.  Notice I mentioned 'my' life.  And for so long that was how I viewed life.  It was mine to keep and control.  I wanted to be in the ministry, but I wanted to go through with it my way.  That's when everything began to change.

When I was eighteen, I had just completed my first year of college.  I had full scholarship to the University of Mobile, I was a staff photographer, working at a church near with youth, and had the perfect boyfriend of three years, and lived close to my family.  Yet, sitting in my room that Tuesday afternoon, I remember having a one on one conversation with The Lord.  He was telling me to abandon everything and to give him everything.  I was at a point in my life that I knew I wasn't living for Christ.  I had become so miserable being in control of my life plan.  So I fell to my knees, telling Christ I would abandon everything in my life.  Wherever he wanted me to go, I would go.  Whatever he wanted me to do, I would do.  That is when my relationship with Christ became the most personal and real. 

Christ started stripping away every aspect of my life that I held on to so dearly.  He asked me to first break up with my boyfriend.  Then to move to a different college.  I had no idea where I was suppose to go but I only knew that God said go so I moved home from my summer in Mobile.  Two weeks later, I was suppose to start my sophomore year off college.  And rather then getting my classes together and the books I needed, I was sending out my application to attend a different university.  I spoke with the president of Truett McConnell College on the phone.  He explained their degree plan for their world missions program.  Every word he spoke over the phone, gave me a peace that Truett was where I needed to go.  

This college was in a small town, Cleveland, Georgia.  Further away from my family, with hardly any scholarship, without knowing a soul on campus, yet I was headed that way in one week.  

I can remember the night before I was about to move in to my new dorm room.  I was on the elevator with my mom.  I instantly broke into tears and asked her if I was making a wrong decision.  But rather I was truly saying, am I really ready to leave my control behind and follow Christ with his will for my life.  I moved in the next day and never looked back.  

"I have decided to follow Jesus.  No turning back.  No turning back."

I had given my life to Christ but had never really given him full control of my life.  Here is an example of what I mean.  When you ask a friend to come to your home, you then have invited them into your world, your life.  Then you tell them, make yourself at home.  They may go into the living room where I like to represent your relationship life.  Maybe with your family, girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, or friends.  Then they may go into the kitchen to get something to eat.  I let the kitchen represent where we make and do things, like sports, hobbies, and jobs.  But then there is your room.  Where it represents your inner thoughts, passions, and emotions.  If I had a girl friend coming over, she would more than likely head straight to my room.  So before she comes, I know I want to hide how messy my room is.  And I would stuff all the mess I have in my closet so she can't see how my room truly was.  Well when we tell Christ to make himself at home, we are inviting him to completely invade our relationships, everything we do, and our inner selfs.  But that also includes our closets where we are trying to hide the mess of our lives or our sins we hold ourselves bondage to.  But when we tell Christ to invade every area of our life, he wants it all.  He wants the messy closet too. But the greatest part about this is that with complete surrender comes freedom and forgiveness of sin.  

When I asked Christ to invade my life, I was asking him to come and completely wreck me. And he did.  He took a wrecking ball to my life as if literally everything was falling to pieces so that he would be the only one to make me whole. 

How did this lead me to moving to Nicaragua for four months?  If I had never abandoned everything, in order to live for him, I know I wouldn't be where I am today.


So!  I lived in Nicaragua for 113 days.  I had just graduated from college a year early and was very tired of school.  I knew I had plans in the future to continue my studies but did not have a peace about going directly in the fall.  I prayed and continued to seek after what the Lord wanted for my life.  I truly had to put off my wants and plans and pray directly for what He had for me.

I have been to Nicaragua seven times.  My first mission trip there was when I was fifteen.  Of course, I fell in love with the Nicaraguan people but never knew I would one day live with them.  My knowledge about missions is fair, my spanish is terrible, speaking in front of people puts me to shame.  I honestly felt completely inadequate at times while living in Nicaragua.  People would ask me about my own personal life which made me want to crawl into a hole because I was ashamed of who I once was.  But then I was always reminded who God is.  Christ picked me up from the filth of my sin and gave me a new life.  And with that life, I chose to live for him.  I once was a great sinner in need of an even Greater Savior.  He redeemed me and made me whole.  For that, I owe him my all.

This video shows some of the different ministries I was a part of.
I worked with orphans, addicts, cutters, the homeless, beggars, prostitutes, English students, villagers, children, women, teenagers, and the forgotten.  I witnessed someone wanting to commit suicide find life in Christ.  I led a physically orphan boy to adoption by his Heavenly Father.  I experienced English students hearing the gospel for the first time.  I shared a meal with those who may have one meal a day.  I saw 50 women learn more about Jesus from our Bible study and put His Word into action.  In all of this, I too experienced Christ more.  He taught me so much while being in Nicaragua.  I learned things I wouldn't have in a classroom but just by being the hands and feet of Christ on the field.

God has given me a talent to use for His glory.  I take pictures.  By taking pictures, my clients have enabled me to go to China, the Philippines, India, Amsterdam, Brazil, Nicaragua, Thailand, and Africa.  I have spent over $50,000 in spreading the gospel.  For those who have supported my photography business and my passion for missions, YOU have been a part of changing lives physically and spiritually.  Forever I am grateful.


xoxo

-Ash


Nicaragua Video


Video Credits

Filmed by Ashlyn Williams
Created and Edited by Graham Schmidt & Ashlyn Williams

HUGE thanks to Graham Schmidt for helping me create this video!  You are truly gifted and have such great vision.  Thanks for putting in your time in helping me further His kingdom!